Saturday, April 11, 2009

A Fan Can Hope: Western Conference

Continuing with what, in my opinion, would be the most entertaining (for a neutral fan) course for the NHL playoffs to take, here’s a look at the Western Conference.

Assuming, again, that long, bloody series are the cat’s pajamas.

Conference Quarterfinals
San Jose-Anaheim: Anaheim’s currently got a 29% or 25% chance of falling to the eight, depending on whom you ask. This has the requisite bad blood. San Jose won four of six games during the regular season.
Uneducated Predictions: The first-ever postseason Battle of California has potential to go the full seven, with the Sharks prevailing. The on-the-ice, in-the-outskirts version of Giants-Dodgers registers a rare hockey blip on the mainstream Cali sporting conscious.

Detroit-St. Louis: The Blues are about 30% to hit the seven, but it could be a classic. The intradivisional aspect doesn’t hurt, although Detroit did win 5 of 6 this year. For what it’s worth (probably not much), St Louis did win the most recent match-up.
Uneducated Predictions: A bunch of 5-4 games ends with the playoffs’ big upset, as the Blues become the adopted team for eliminated teams’ fans everywhere. Chris Osgood is finally pulled in game six after stealing the puck during a Red Wings breakout and throwing it into his own net.

Vancouver-Columbus: As a Canucks fan, I’m sure I’m fucking this up by calling it before it’s set. But, the Canucks are 84% or 75% to get the three, while Columbus is 69/66 to get the 6. Columbus won both home games 3-2 (plus an empty-netter), while the teams split two more close games in Vancouver (with Columbus’ win in the shootout). Ohio fans’ first taste of playoff hockey should be entertaining as hell.
Uneducated Predictions: Another seven-gamer ends with a Canucks win, but convinces Rick Nash to stay in Ohio long-term. A Ryan Kesler OT game-winner in game five causes the world’s largest simultaneous female orgasm. And, uh, maybe male also.

Chicago-Calgary: Calgary’s odds to hit the five are the same as Vancouver’s to hit three. Chicago beat Calgary all four games this year, by some lopsided scores. There’s not a tonne of recent history here, but the playoffs have a way of breeding contempt. These buildings will be loud, which won’t hurt.
Uneducated Predictions: Chicago wins an intense series in 6. Dion Phaneuf is caught out of position 61 times, but makes up for it by elbowing Jonathan Toews in the eye.

Conference Semifinals
San Jose-St. Louis: The home team won every game this year, in close fashion. There’s not much recent history here, but I’m sure no St. Louis fan has forgotten the spring of 2000.
Uneducated Predictions: The Blues are shockingly featured on mainstream American sports networks after they complete their second seven-game upset in as many series. The cries of “Jumbo Joe can’t get'r done in the playoffs” reach unhealthy levels despite his having 10 points in the seven games.

Vancouver-Chicago: This one would probably be boring. The season series is split, although Vancouver won the two most recent games 11-3 total. Still, this sounds like a six-gamer at least.
Uneducated Predictions: Chicago in seven. Teams set a record by having 17 combined players in the box simultaneously, necessitating horizontal stacking.

Conference Finals
Chicago-St. Louis: These teams met a bunch of times in the playoffs in the 80’s and early 90’s. The Blues won four of the six games this year, with the first three games going to OT.
Uneducated Predictions: St. Louis’ exciting run comes to an end in seven games. Traditionalists weep with joy at the old-fashioned Norris Division tilt.

Stanley Cup Finals
My uneducated predictions for the Conference Finals (Bruins over Capitals, Chicago over St. Louis) were more along the lines of which team would likely be favoured. I can't decide at all which of the four possibilities would actually be most entertaining. More Ovie=More Betterness, and I'd be happy to watch the Blues continue to roll. That said, I think an Original Six Chicago-Boston showdown might offer the best hockey. It would certainly be a match-up that was borderline unimaginable two years ago. I don't know who would win, but I'm sure we'd be inundated with breathless articles about the salvation of two classic franchises. And it would probably be worth it.

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