Raiders' War Room

Official #1: Man, thank god Monroe lasted this long. I'll call it in.
Official #2: Uhh, I dunno...
1: Ugh, why not?
Official #3: I thought we agreed we're going wide receiver.
1: We were just kidding around. We've gotta take Monroe.
2: Why? Is he fast?
1: No. But we're...bad at not getting sacked.
Al Davis: [croaking] ssssspeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed
1: Does he have to be in here? That's so fucking creepy.
3: Yeah, well, the man knows football. And nobody wants what's good for the Raiders more than him.
2: Mr. Davis wants speed, we get him speed.
1: Goddammit, fine. Crabtree it is.
3: I don't think he's fast enough. He's got foot problems.
1: He put up a trillion yards the last two years!
2/3: ...
1: ...
Davis: flaaaaaaaaaaaaaash
1: Harvin.
2: Ehhhhh. Character issues.
1: This...we're the Raiders.
Davis: uuuuuuuuuuupsssssssssiiiide
3: Pass.
1: Macli--
3: Too productive. Pass.
1: I've got nothing then. What's your plan.
2: How'bout Heyward-Bey. He's like 210 and runs a 4.3.
1: He was like 9th in his league in ypg. In the ACC.
3: You can smell his potential.
Davis: heeee's beeeeeauutifulllllll
1: FINE. Jesus. Who're we trading down with?
2: Better take him now.
3: We can't risk losing him.
Davis: nowwwwwww
1: ...
2/3: ...
1: I fucking quit.