I'm going away for the weekend, so I wanted to get these in now:
-Georgia's gonna be good. Ten wins is very much a possibility, and I think they're Florida's best shot at a loss. The only thing really holding them back from full-blown national title contender in my eyes is a (commendably) nasty schedule.
-Notre Dame's gonna be good. They just have too much talent not to be. And it's not like you can accuse Chubby Charlie of never having won with good talent. 10 wins and a BCS slot seems likely.
-The ACC's gonna be good. If Miami's young players have their shit together, they're gonna be a godmonster. GaTech returns basically everybody. Clemson should make good on last year's promise. UNC and Florida State won't be fun to play. And of course VaTech will probably end up winning the whole ball of wax, again.
-Texas Tech's gonna be good. The offense will regress, naturally--but to like 480 yards/game and 35 points.
-Ole Miss will not win their division. I just can't see it.
-TCU will be the best "mid-major", but will come up short of BCS territory again.
K, that's it. Gotta run. Thank God for CFB.
Friday, September 4, 2009
11th-Hour Predictions: Pac-10 (Part 2)
Continuing my last-minute, seat-of-my-pants Pac-10 football predictions:
6. Oregon State--Like their in-state rivals, I'm not really buying it with this team. Despite returning fewer than half their starters, they're hovering around the bottom of the polls to start the season. As far as I can tell, the thinking goes roughly "Mike Riley isn't fooling me again! The Beavers always get to 9 wins!" Of course, this ignores the downright ancient history that is 2005, when they had an inexperienced secondary and gave up a million yards through the air. They finished 5-6. This year they lose their entire secondary, as well as twenty-three sacks from the d-line. This is a team that's going to get thrown on. On offense, the left side of the line is gone, as are almost 2000 receiving yards. With the brothers Rogers (and Ryan McCants) back, they should be good on the ground, but seriously: if Riley can get this team to another 9 wins, he will deserve serious COTY honors.
Prediction: 7-5(4-5)
6. UCLA--They're still going with a bunch of young players, including a frosh QB (like, apparently, the rest of the conference). There's going to be much-needed upheaval on the O-line, but it can't get any worse. They're loaded with athletes; they're in the second year in the system; the defense actually qualifies as "good"; they're comically upset about being looked down upon; and, most importantly, there's no way the quarterbacks are going to do this again.
Prediction: 6-6(4-5)
8. Arizona State--They've got a pretty decent, experienced defense, some alright skill position players, and an O-line that improved by 21 sacks last year and figures to make another improvement this year. They're breaking in a new QB, but who isn't? They'll be a very tough out.
Prediction: 5-7(3-6)
9. Washington--They were really bad last year, and they have to adjust to a new coaching staff. Still, the Huskies return almost everyone on defense (including what should be a halfway decent front seven); general talent at the skill positions; an O-line that won't get any worse; and one of the biggest difference-makers in the conference in QB Jake Locker (who missed the final 8 games last year). This team will be leaps and bounds better.
Prediction: 3-9(2-7)
10. Washington State--I feel for Paul Wulff. This team still looks like it's a long way from competing in the conference. There's a paucity of athletes; they play @Washington; they were out-gained almost 2-to-1 last year; their projected QB had a 0:11 TD:INT ratio last year. This team can't be any worse, but they're probably not gonna surpass last year's 2 wins.
Prediction: 1-11(0-9)
6. Oregon State--Like their in-state rivals, I'm not really buying it with this team. Despite returning fewer than half their starters, they're hovering around the bottom of the polls to start the season. As far as I can tell, the thinking goes roughly "Mike Riley isn't fooling me again! The Beavers always get to 9 wins!" Of course, this ignores the downright ancient history that is 2005, when they had an inexperienced secondary and gave up a million yards through the air. They finished 5-6. This year they lose their entire secondary, as well as twenty-three sacks from the d-line. This is a team that's going to get thrown on. On offense, the left side of the line is gone, as are almost 2000 receiving yards. With the brothers Rogers (and Ryan McCants) back, they should be good on the ground, but seriously: if Riley can get this team to another 9 wins, he will deserve serious COTY honors.
Prediction: 7-5(4-5)
6. UCLA--They're still going with a bunch of young players, including a frosh QB (like, apparently, the rest of the conference). There's going to be much-needed upheaval on the O-line, but it can't get any worse. They're loaded with athletes; they're in the second year in the system; the defense actually qualifies as "good"; they're comically upset about being looked down upon; and, most importantly, there's no way the quarterbacks are going to do this again.
Prediction: 6-6(4-5)
8. Arizona State--They've got a pretty decent, experienced defense, some alright skill position players, and an O-line that improved by 21 sacks last year and figures to make another improvement this year. They're breaking in a new QB, but who isn't? They'll be a very tough out.
Prediction: 5-7(3-6)
9. Washington--They were really bad last year, and they have to adjust to a new coaching staff. Still, the Huskies return almost everyone on defense (including what should be a halfway decent front seven); general talent at the skill positions; an O-line that won't get any worse; and one of the biggest difference-makers in the conference in QB Jake Locker (who missed the final 8 games last year). This team will be leaps and bounds better.
Prediction: 3-9(2-7)
10. Washington State--I feel for Paul Wulff. This team still looks like it's a long way from competing in the conference. There's a paucity of athletes; they play @Washington; they were out-gained almost 2-to-1 last year; their projected QB had a 0:11 TD:INT ratio last year. This team can't be any worse, but they're probably not gonna surpass last year's 2 wins.
Prediction: 1-11(0-9)
Ugly Duckling
It's a strange experience, watching a story--and the reactions to that story--unfold from the very beginning. LeGarrette Blount was still skipping away--Byron Hout hadn't even hit the ground yet--when Oregon fans started disowning him. This is Google Trends' list of popular searches, about two hours post-game:
I think the strange part is knowing beforehand what people are going to be talking about tomorrow, before most of them know it (because, really, most people didn't stay up for that game).
Anyway, my condolences to the hundreds of people involved with Oregon football who aren't LeGarrette Blount. I get the impression that the Ducks, with their goofy uniforms and pinball offense, had built up a fair amount of goodwill amongst college football fans; this is, somewhat unfairly, going to undo a lot of that, even if/when Blount is removed from the team.
Some other thoughts:
-Think Phil Steele feels a tad triumphant tonight?
-I think, if Chip Kelly is worth his weight in feathers as a motivator, this loss could be very, very beneficial to the Ducks over the rest of the season. They're the laughingstock of CFB right now, and that "nobody respects us" nonsense really seems to play well among football players. At the very least, I expect Purdue to get hate-fucked next week.
-I was disappointed that Oregon didn't bust out the yellows for the blue turf. I was prepared to drop acid just to make some sense of it all.
-I don't really think this changes my outlook much for either team. This certainly looks like Boise's toughest game (ie. the best bet for that one loss I figure they'll end up with), but they still have trips to Fresno State, Louisiana Tech, Tulsa, and the all-bets-are-off netherrealm that is Hawai'i (although Hawai'i figure to be garbage this year). There's also the Nevada game looming at the other end of the schedule. Chris Peterson's Broncos really deserve the benefit of the doubt at this point, but I think the odds of them dropping one game are higher than going undefeated. (By the way, Boise also goes to Bowling Green, in Ohio. They put on a ton of miles this year.)
-As for Oregon, I dunno. I actually, inexplicably, might like their outlook better after this game than I did before it, because of the whole hypothetical "team coming together" nonsense that I speculated on earlier...(shitty, shitty writing alert) could this ugly duckling actually grow into a beautiful swan? (Sorry, I just really needed to put it out there, because some hack writer is going to use it in all seriousness at some point, and I want to take some small credit for it.)
Eh, probably not.
I still suspect they'll get their poop packed by Cal and USC, and there's a good chance there's another slip-up waiting somewhere on the sked, so for now I'm going to drop them from 9-3(6-3) to 8.5-3.5.
I think the strange part is knowing beforehand what people are going to be talking about tomorrow, before most of them know it (because, really, most people didn't stay up for that game).Anyway, my condolences to the hundreds of people involved with Oregon football who aren't LeGarrette Blount. I get the impression that the Ducks, with their goofy uniforms and pinball offense, had built up a fair amount of goodwill amongst college football fans; this is, somewhat unfairly, going to undo a lot of that, even if/when Blount is removed from the team.
Some other thoughts:
-Think Phil Steele feels a tad triumphant tonight?
-I think, if Chip Kelly is worth his weight in feathers as a motivator, this loss could be very, very beneficial to the Ducks over the rest of the season. They're the laughingstock of CFB right now, and that "nobody respects us" nonsense really seems to play well among football players. At the very least, I expect Purdue to get hate-fucked next week.
-I was disappointed that Oregon didn't bust out the yellows for the blue turf. I was prepared to drop acid just to make some sense of it all.
-I don't really think this changes my outlook much for either team. This certainly looks like Boise's toughest game (ie. the best bet for that one loss I figure they'll end up with), but they still have trips to Fresno State, Louisiana Tech, Tulsa, and the all-bets-are-off netherrealm that is Hawai'i (although Hawai'i figure to be garbage this year). There's also the Nevada game looming at the other end of the schedule. Chris Peterson's Broncos really deserve the benefit of the doubt at this point, but I think the odds of them dropping one game are higher than going undefeated. (By the way, Boise also goes to Bowling Green, in Ohio. They put on a ton of miles this year.)
-As for Oregon, I dunno. I actually, inexplicably, might like their outlook better after this game than I did before it, because of the whole hypothetical "team coming together" nonsense that I speculated on earlier...(shitty, shitty writing alert) could this ugly duckling actually grow into a beautiful swan? (Sorry, I just really needed to put it out there, because some hack writer is going to use it in all seriousness at some point, and I want to take some small credit for it.)
Eh, probably not.
I still suspect they'll get their poop packed by Cal and USC, and there's a good chance there's another slip-up waiting somewhere on the sked, so for now I'm going to drop them from 9-3(6-3) to 8.5-3.5.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
11th-Hour Predictions: Top-30 or so
A rough prediction of end-of-year (pre-CCG, 'cuz fuck those things) polls:
1. Florida (11-1)
2. Texas (11-1)
3-7ish. LSU (10-2)
USC (10-2)
Alabama (10-2)
Oklahoma (10-2)
Notre Dame (10-2)
8-13ish Ole Miss (10-2)
Penn State (10-2)
Clemson (10-2)
Cal (10-2)
Ohio State (10-2)
Georgia Tech (10-2)
14-18ish Virginia Tech (9-3)
Georgia (9-3)
Boise State (11-1)
Oklahoma State (9-3)
West Virginia (10-2)
19-30ish Iowa (9-3)
Texas Tech (9-3)
Miami (8-4)
BYU (10-2)
USF (9-3)
Pitt (9-3)
TCU (10-2)
Rutgers (9-3)
Oregon (9-3)
Illinois (9-3)
Nebraska (9-3)
Kansas (8-4)
Arizona (8-4)
1. Florida (11-1)
2. Texas (11-1)
3-7ish. LSU (10-2)
USC (10-2)
Alabama (10-2)
Oklahoma (10-2)
Notre Dame (10-2)
8-13ish Ole Miss (10-2)
Penn State (10-2)
Clemson (10-2)
Cal (10-2)
Ohio State (10-2)
Georgia Tech (10-2)
14-18ish Virginia Tech (9-3)
Georgia (9-3)
Boise State (11-1)
Oklahoma State (9-3)
West Virginia (10-2)
19-30ish Iowa (9-3)
Texas Tech (9-3)
Miami (8-4)
BYU (10-2)
USF (9-3)
Pitt (9-3)
TCU (10-2)
Rutgers (9-3)
Oregon (9-3)
Illinois (9-3)
Nebraska (9-3)
Kansas (8-4)
Arizona (8-4)
11th-Hour Predictions: Pac-10
I've been drunk all these months. Let's go:
1. USC--Yeah, yeah, yeah: frosh QB, totally rebuilt front seven, mounting preseason injuries. The Trojans are as ripe-for-the-taking as they've been in years. Still, nobody in the conference can match USC in terms of raw talent. Whoever ends up getting the bulk of the snaps at QB is going to step into an absolutely ideal situation, with an old, excellent line; about 73 future top-100 draft picks joining him in the backfield; and, at the very least, Damian Williams to throw to. The defense will be fine, and USC will be one of the ten best teams in the country. Prediction: 10-2, 8-1 (7-2 and 9-0 both seem like longshots).
2. Cal--The Bears have to be optimistic about their Rose Bowl chances this year. They probably wouldn't trade in their secondary for USC's. Similarly, their D-line has plenty of experience and all-conference potential. The linebacking corps is fairly green, but it a)has talent, and b)is sandwiched between the other two units. The relative concern will be the offense, but having Jahvid "the" Best (and Shane Vereen in reserve) is a nice start. Losing Alex Mack (and another veteran starter) on the line won't be fun, but, due to injuries, they have six guys with significant playing time (most of whom are upperclassmen). The receivers are good enough. If Kevin Riley can hit on something higher than last year's 50% of passes, they'll be neck-and-neck with USC all year.
Prediction: 10-2, 7-2 (8-1 being more likely than 6-3).
3. Arizona--Losing the best QB in program history isn't fun. Losing a couple big-time linemen isn't fun. But Arizona returns a very good secondary, a solid LB crew, and an experienced D-line. The running backs are good; the receivers are good; the line, like Cal's, has some pieces to cobble together. If they can get general competence out of the new QB, they'll be very good.
Prediction: 8-4, 6-3 (5-4 being much more likely than 7-2).
3. Oregon--I don't really think the emperor's wearing any clothes with this team. They lose a couple 2nd-round picks from the secondary, three excellent D-line starters, and a linebacker for good measure. The O line loses just about everybody. There are some skill position returnees; but they also lost quite a few skill position guys. I dunno. They'll blow some teams out, but I think they're going to be in serious dogfights more frequently than a preseason top-15 team should be.
Prediction: 9-3, 6-3 (7-2 could happen, but 2-1 OOC could too).
5. Stanford--The Cardinal could very well go from "tough out" to the upper half of the conference. The defensive line, three short years removed from allowing about 2 million yards on the ground, is a strength(?!). The back seven is roughly "average" by conference standards, which is an improvement over years past. The O-line loses quite a bit, which should make life tougher on an downright good collection of running backs. In what seems to be a running theme in the conference, the Cardinal might start a totally inexperienced quarterback (although unlike the other schools, they have senior Tavita Pritchard waiting to take over if freshman Andrew Luck doesn't perform). Whoever plays, they'll have a decent, experienced set of receivers to throw to. Overall, Stanford has to be thinking bowl for the first time in almost a decade.
Prediction: 7-5, 5-4 (a reprise of last year's 5-7, 4-5 being about as low as they could go).
Later: Bottom 5
1. USC--Yeah, yeah, yeah: frosh QB, totally rebuilt front seven, mounting preseason injuries. The Trojans are as ripe-for-the-taking as they've been in years. Still, nobody in the conference can match USC in terms of raw talent. Whoever ends up getting the bulk of the snaps at QB is going to step into an absolutely ideal situation, with an old, excellent line; about 73 future top-100 draft picks joining him in the backfield; and, at the very least, Damian Williams to throw to. The defense will be fine, and USC will be one of the ten best teams in the country. Prediction: 10-2, 8-1 (7-2 and 9-0 both seem like longshots).
2. Cal--The Bears have to be optimistic about their Rose Bowl chances this year. They probably wouldn't trade in their secondary for USC's. Similarly, their D-line has plenty of experience and all-conference potential. The linebacking corps is fairly green, but it a)has talent, and b)is sandwiched between the other two units. The relative concern will be the offense, but having Jahvid "the" Best (and Shane Vereen in reserve) is a nice start. Losing Alex Mack (and another veteran starter) on the line won't be fun, but, due to injuries, they have six guys with significant playing time (most of whom are upperclassmen). The receivers are good enough. If Kevin Riley can hit on something higher than last year's 50% of passes, they'll be neck-and-neck with USC all year.
Prediction: 10-2, 7-2 (8-1 being more likely than 6-3).
3. Arizona--Losing the best QB in program history isn't fun. Losing a couple big-time linemen isn't fun. But Arizona returns a very good secondary, a solid LB crew, and an experienced D-line. The running backs are good; the receivers are good; the line, like Cal's, has some pieces to cobble together. If they can get general competence out of the new QB, they'll be very good.
Prediction: 8-4, 6-3 (5-4 being much more likely than 7-2).
3. Oregon--I don't really think the emperor's wearing any clothes with this team. They lose a couple 2nd-round picks from the secondary, three excellent D-line starters, and a linebacker for good measure. The O line loses just about everybody. There are some skill position returnees; but they also lost quite a few skill position guys. I dunno. They'll blow some teams out, but I think they're going to be in serious dogfights more frequently than a preseason top-15 team should be.
Prediction: 9-3, 6-3 (7-2 could happen, but 2-1 OOC could too).
5. Stanford--The Cardinal could very well go from "tough out" to the upper half of the conference. The defensive line, three short years removed from allowing about 2 million yards on the ground, is a strength(?!). The back seven is roughly "average" by conference standards, which is an improvement over years past. The O-line loses quite a bit, which should make life tougher on an downright good collection of running backs. In what seems to be a running theme in the conference, the Cardinal might start a totally inexperienced quarterback (although unlike the other schools, they have senior Tavita Pritchard waiting to take over if freshman Andrew Luck doesn't perform). Whoever plays, they'll have a decent, experienced set of receivers to throw to. Overall, Stanford has to be thinking bowl for the first time in almost a decade.
Prediction: 7-5, 5-4 (a reprise of last year's 5-7, 4-5 being about as low as they could go).
Later: Bottom 5
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Raiders' War Room
Official #1: Man, thank god Monroe lasted this long. I'll call it in.
Official #2: Uhh, I dunno...
1: Ugh, why not?
Official #3: I thought we agreed we're going wide receiver.
1: We were just kidding around. We've gotta take Monroe.
2: Why? Is he fast?
1: No. But we're...bad at not getting sacked.
Al Davis: [croaking] ssssspeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed
1: Does he have to be in here? That's so fucking creepy.
3: Yeah, well, the man knows football. And nobody wants what's good for the Raiders more than him.
2: Mr. Davis wants speed, we get him speed.
1: Goddammit, fine. Crabtree it is.
3: I don't think he's fast enough. He's got foot problems.
1: He put up a trillion yards the last two years!
2/3: ...
1: ...
Davis: flaaaaaaaaaaaaaash
1: Harvin.
2: Ehhhhh. Character issues.
1: This...we're the Raiders.
Davis: uuuuuuuuuuupsssssssssiiiide
3: Pass.
1: Macli--
3: Too productive. Pass.
1: I've got nothing then. What's your plan.
2: How'bout Heyward-Bey. He's like 210 and runs a 4.3.
1: He was like 9th in his league in ypg. In the ACC.
3: You can smell his potential.
Davis: heeee's beeeeeauutifulllllll
1: FINE. Jesus. Who're we trading down with?
2: Better take him now.
3: We can't risk losing him.
Davis: nowwwwwww
1: ...
2/3: ...
1: I fucking quit.
Official #2: Uhh, I dunno...
1: Ugh, why not?
Official #3: I thought we agreed we're going wide receiver.
1: We were just kidding around. We've gotta take Monroe.
2: Why? Is he fast?
1: No. But we're...bad at not getting sacked.
Al Davis: [croaking] ssssspeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed
1: Does he have to be in here? That's so fucking creepy.
3: Yeah, well, the man knows football. And nobody wants what's good for the Raiders more than him.
2: Mr. Davis wants speed, we get him speed.
1: Goddammit, fine. Crabtree it is.
3: I don't think he's fast enough. He's got foot problems.
1: He put up a trillion yards the last two years!
2/3: ...
1: ...
Davis: flaaaaaaaaaaaaaash
1: Harvin.
2: Ehhhhh. Character issues.
1: This...we're the Raiders.
Davis: uuuuuuuuuuupsssssssssiiiide
3: Pass.
1: Macli--
3: Too productive. Pass.
1: I've got nothing then. What's your plan.
2: How'bout Heyward-Bey. He's like 210 and runs a 4.3.
1: He was like 9th in his league in ypg. In the ACC.
3: You can smell his potential.
Davis: heeee's beeeeeauutifulllllll
1: FINE. Jesus. Who're we trading down with?
2: Better take him now.
3: We can't risk losing him.
Davis: nowwwwwww
1: ...
2/3: ...
1: I fucking quit.
Monday, April 20, 2009
However will they manage?
I expect we'll see variations of this in every Georgia Bulldogs '09 preview that comes out over the next several months. I understand Matt Stafford and Knowshon Moreno were great, and that replacing them as individual players will be difficult/impossible.
Hoooooooowever. The "Moreno/Stafford Era" (taken here to mean 2007 and 2008) wasn't exactly the height of Mark Richt's success in Athens. It featured, by my count, one win over Florida (in a year that Florida lost three other games), one win over Georgia Tech, zero division titles, bowl wins over Happy-To-Be-Here Hawaii and Michigan State, and a lot of unmet expectations. And if you want to be petty and throw in Stafford's freshman year, things look worse.
Of course, most schools would kill for 21 wins and a Sugar Bowl trophy. But Georgia under Mark Richt hasn't been most schools. 2002-2005 saw three division and two conference titles, a bunch of wins over Chan Gailey's All-Stars, and, hell, one win over Florida***.
Obviously, this is not an indictment of Moreno and Stafford as individual players; it is, to be cliché, a team game, and there were problems with other parts of the team. But it's not like the Dawgs were a perennial 7-5 outfit that turned into the '04 USC Trojans once Stafford and Moreno came on board. In assessing the entire team's success over the last two seasons relative to previous years, I don't believe, as Mr. McCartney puts it, that "it's going to be awfully hard for Georgia to emerge from Moreno's and Stafford's shadows this season."
***I know, in four games, but still.
Hoooooooowever. The "Moreno/Stafford Era" (taken here to mean 2007 and 2008) wasn't exactly the height of Mark Richt's success in Athens. It featured, by my count, one win over Florida (in a year that Florida lost three other games), one win over Georgia Tech, zero division titles, bowl wins over Happy-To-Be-Here Hawaii and Michigan State, and a lot of unmet expectations. And if you want to be petty and throw in Stafford's freshman year, things look worse.
Of course, most schools would kill for 21 wins and a Sugar Bowl trophy. But Georgia under Mark Richt hasn't been most schools. 2002-2005 saw three division and two conference titles, a bunch of wins over Chan Gailey's All-Stars, and, hell, one win over Florida***.
Obviously, this is not an indictment of Moreno and Stafford as individual players; it is, to be cliché, a team game, and there were problems with other parts of the team. But it's not like the Dawgs were a perennial 7-5 outfit that turned into the '04 USC Trojans once Stafford and Moreno came on board. In assessing the entire team's success over the last two seasons relative to previous years, I don't believe, as Mr. McCartney puts it, that "it's going to be awfully hard for Georgia to emerge from Moreno's and Stafford's shadows this season."
***I know, in four games, but still.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A Commissioner Can Hope: Western Conference
The second half of a look into Gary Bettman’s Fantasy Bracket.
Conference Quarterfinals
San Jose-Anaheim: This one is tough, as both teams play in medium-sized cities in enormous media markets in California. The opportunity to get the Bay Area in on a Stanley Cup run is tempting. That said, upsets are attention-getters, Anaheim’s a market that could also use a bit of fan-base shoring, the Ducks’ story this year is pretty incredible, and the possibility of getting some mileage out of renowned villain Chris Pronger would be nice. Gary’s Pick: Anaheim
Detroit-Columbus: It’s hard to believe that the NHL would like to see a big, traditional market like Detroit go out early. However, there’s like zero money in Michigan right now and fans everywhere else would probably be disinterested in another Wings Campbell Bowl. On the flip side, the BJs are a dark, mysterious, and sexy stranger. With Buckeye football about to reach the real dog days of late spring and early summer, central Ohio would go nuts for a deep playoff run. Plus Gary can point out Columbus to his “TEAMS IN WARM CITIES?!!” detractors and say “coulda put’em in New Orleans”. Gary’s Pick: Columbus
Vancouver-St. Louis: I’m sure Gary’ll hem and haw and theBluesnextmatchupplease. Gary’s Pick: St. Louis
Chicago-Calgary: Think of how the old Flames fanbase back in Atlanta would go nuts for a Cup win and help finally spread hockey across the Deep South! Gary’s Pick: Chicago
Conference Semifinals
Chicago-Anaheim: Marginal fans would get sucked in by the “Nice Young Men vs Nasty Old Guys” story line. And of course the storyline would have to follow the traditional progression. Gary’s pick: Chicago
St. Louis-Columbus: St. Louis somehow managed to catch the Beej for 6th place. A clash between a couple basketball-free, big-potential cities in the Midwest sounds like a winner to the marketing guys, especially if it includes more of this. Gary’s pick: St. Louis
Conference Finals
Chicago-St. Louis: The NHL would love to trade off of this old rivalry. There’s also potential to sell marginal fans the “Cubs-Cards…WITH VIOLENCE” angle. Or the “These two teams absolutely blew ass quite recently but now they’re good” angle. That’s probably paraphrasing. Another huge plus is that people on the East Coast wouldn’t have to stay up particularly late for any of the games. Whoever wins, the NHL wins. That said, the bigger the market, the better the attention. Gary’s Pick: Chicago
Stanley Cup Finals
Washington-Chicago: Enormous cities with good (and occasionally incredible) hockey tradition and huge potential. Think the NHL wouldn’t kill for the Past Obama vs. Present Obama storyline? I absolutely promise you Gary Bettman would strangle a toddler to be able to get the POTUS, the most powerful and perhaps revered African-American ever***, and maybe the single most popular person in the world to talk about the NHL. I could see this rivaling any non-Lebron&Kobe NBA final for Ted Neutralfan’s interest. Gary’s Pick: An Alex Ovechkin breakaway goal in the 5th OT of game seven.
***Well, second. But hell, Oprah’s from Chicago too.
Conference Quarterfinals
San Jose-Anaheim: This one is tough, as both teams play in medium-sized cities in enormous media markets in California. The opportunity to get the Bay Area in on a Stanley Cup run is tempting. That said, upsets are attention-getters, Anaheim’s a market that could also use a bit of fan-base shoring, the Ducks’ story this year is pretty incredible, and the possibility of getting some mileage out of renowned villain Chris Pronger would be nice. Gary’s Pick: Anaheim
Detroit-Columbus: It’s hard to believe that the NHL would like to see a big, traditional market like Detroit go out early. However, there’s like zero money in Michigan right now and fans everywhere else would probably be disinterested in another Wings Campbell Bowl. On the flip side, the BJs are a dark, mysterious, and sexy stranger. With Buckeye football about to reach the real dog days of late spring and early summer, central Ohio would go nuts for a deep playoff run. Plus Gary can point out Columbus to his “TEAMS IN WARM CITIES?!!” detractors and say “coulda put’em in New Orleans”. Gary’s Pick: Columbus
Vancouver-St. Louis: I’m sure Gary’ll hem and haw and theBluesnextmatchupplease. Gary’s Pick: St. Louis
Chicago-Calgary: Think of how the old Flames fanbase back in Atlanta would go nuts for a Cup win and help finally spread hockey across the Deep South! Gary’s Pick: Chicago
Conference Semifinals
Chicago-Anaheim: Marginal fans would get sucked in by the “Nice Young Men vs Nasty Old Guys” story line. And of course the storyline would have to follow the traditional progression. Gary’s pick: Chicago
St. Louis-Columbus: St. Louis somehow managed to catch the Beej for 6th place. A clash between a couple basketball-free, big-potential cities in the Midwest sounds like a winner to the marketing guys, especially if it includes more of this. Gary’s pick: St. Louis
Conference Finals
Chicago-St. Louis: The NHL would love to trade off of this old rivalry. There’s also potential to sell marginal fans the “Cubs-Cards…WITH VIOLENCE” angle. Or the “These two teams absolutely blew ass quite recently but now they’re good” angle. That’s probably paraphrasing. Another huge plus is that people on the East Coast wouldn’t have to stay up particularly late for any of the games. Whoever wins, the NHL wins. That said, the bigger the market, the better the attention. Gary’s Pick: Chicago
Stanley Cup Finals
Washington-Chicago: Enormous cities with good (and occasionally incredible) hockey tradition and huge potential. Think the NHL wouldn’t kill for the Past Obama vs. Present Obama storyline? I absolutely promise you Gary Bettman would strangle a toddler to be able to get the POTUS, the most powerful and perhaps revered African-American ever***, and maybe the single most popular person in the world to talk about the NHL. I could see this rivaling any non-Lebron&Kobe NBA final for Ted Neutralfan’s interest. Gary’s Pick: An Alex Ovechkin breakaway goal in the 5th OT of game seven.
***Well, second. But hell, Oprah’s from Chicago too.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
A Commissioner Can Hope: Eastern Conference
The Eastern Conference first round is set. It turned out just like I hoped, which was a nice surprise. A different matter is what Count Hockula and his minions are hoping to see. Gary will, of course, graciously congratulate whomever wins, but deep down he’ll be crushed to see a New Jersey-Calgary Stanley Cup Final. And, you know, with good reason. The good news for Gary and crew is that a whole bunch of big-market teams got in, so ratings should be decent. So without further ado, the NHL marketing team’s wet dream:
Conference Quarterfinal
Boston-Montreal: NHL execs have to be overjoyed that these two teams bumbled into one another again. But there’s a simple truth for marketing in the NHL: American teams need wins more than Canadian teams do. Gary’s pick: Boston
Washington-NYR: This one is a bit tougher. Surely the NHL would love to have the huge-market Rangers in as long as possible. That said, the Rangers are marketable in New York; Alex Ovechkin is marketable nationwide, with a rare ability to make SportsCenter show hockey highlights. Gary’s pick: Washington
New Jersey-Carolina: New Jersey has won a bunch of games, series, and trophies over the last fifteen years, and it’s gotten a bit…stale, to non-NJ fans. It’d be nice to keep New Jersey around to theoretically keep the NY metro area interested, but that probably wouldn’t make a huge difference. Conversely, Raleigh’s one of the Count’s sunbelt markets that could really use a(nother) little playoff run. This could be dreary, but there’s a plan. Gary’s pick: New Jersey
Philly-Pittsburgh: NHL bigwigs really should be thanking every deity they can think of for these first-round match-ups. In this series, Philly’s a good team and a great market and all, but…well, no contest. Gary’s pick: Pittsburgh
Conference Semifinal
Boston-Pittsburgh: This series would certainly capture a few mainstream headlines. Gary’s pick: Pittsburgh
Washington-New Jersey: It has Ovie and Green, Brodeur and Parise, so it can’t be ignored. Gary’s pick: Washington
Conference Final
Pittsburgh-Washington: The hype would be borderline unbearable, but the NHL could use it. You can sort of picture people in, say, Utah or South Dakota or Bristol CT talking about hockey, which essentially doesn’t happen. As for a winner…ride the Russian Machine until it breaks. Which, of course, it won’t. Gary’s pick: Washington
Conference Quarterfinal
Boston-Montreal: NHL execs have to be overjoyed that these two teams bumbled into one another again. But there’s a simple truth for marketing in the NHL: American teams need wins more than Canadian teams do. Gary’s pick: Boston
Washington-NYR: This one is a bit tougher. Surely the NHL would love to have the huge-market Rangers in as long as possible. That said, the Rangers are marketable in New York; Alex Ovechkin is marketable nationwide, with a rare ability to make SportsCenter show hockey highlights. Gary’s pick: Washington
New Jersey-Carolina: New Jersey has won a bunch of games, series, and trophies over the last fifteen years, and it’s gotten a bit…stale, to non-NJ fans. It’d be nice to keep New Jersey around to theoretically keep the NY metro area interested, but that probably wouldn’t make a huge difference. Conversely, Raleigh’s one of the Count’s sunbelt markets that could really use a(nother) little playoff run. This could be dreary, but there’s a plan. Gary’s pick: New Jersey
Philly-Pittsburgh: NHL bigwigs really should be thanking every deity they can think of for these first-round match-ups. In this series, Philly’s a good team and a great market and all, but…well, no contest. Gary’s pick: Pittsburgh
Conference Semifinal
Boston-Pittsburgh: This series would certainly capture a few mainstream headlines. Gary’s pick: Pittsburgh
Washington-New Jersey: It has Ovie and Green, Brodeur and Parise, so it can’t be ignored. Gary’s pick: Washington
Conference Final
Pittsburgh-Washington: The hype would be borderline unbearable, but the NHL could use it. You can sort of picture people in, say, Utah or South Dakota or Bristol CT talking about hockey, which essentially doesn’t happen. As for a winner…ride the Russian Machine until it breaks. Which, of course, it won’t. Gary’s pick: Washington
Saturday, April 11, 2009
A Fan Can Hope: Western Conference
Continuing with what, in my opinion, would be the most entertaining (for a neutral fan) course for the NHL playoffs to take, here’s a look at the Western Conference.
Assuming, again, that long, bloody series are the cat’s pajamas.
Conference Quarterfinals
San Jose-Anaheim: Anaheim’s currently got a 29% or 25% chance of falling to the eight, depending on whom you ask. This has the requisite bad blood. San Jose won four of six games during the regular season.
Uneducated Predictions: The first-ever postseason Battle of California has potential to go the full seven, with the Sharks prevailing. The on-the-ice, in-the-outskirts version of Giants-Dodgers registers a rare hockey blip on the mainstream Cali sporting conscious.
Detroit-St. Louis: The Blues are about 30% to hit the seven, but it could be a classic. The intradivisional aspect doesn’t hurt, although Detroit did win 5 of 6 this year. For what it’s worth (probably not much), St Louis did win the most recent match-up.
Uneducated Predictions: A bunch of 5-4 games ends with the playoffs’ big upset, as the Blues become the adopted team for eliminated teams’ fans everywhere. Chris Osgood is finally pulled in game six after stealing the puck during a Red Wings breakout and throwing it into his own net.
Vancouver-Columbus: As a Canucks fan, I’m sure I’m fucking this up by calling it before it’s set. But, the Canucks are 84% or 75% to get the three, while Columbus is 69/66 to get the 6. Columbus won both home games 3-2 (plus an empty-netter), while the teams split two more close games in Vancouver (with Columbus’ win in the shootout). Ohio fans’ first taste of playoff hockey should be entertaining as hell.
Uneducated Predictions: Another seven-gamer ends with a Canucks win, but convinces Rick Nash to stay in Ohio long-term. A Ryan Kesler OT game-winner in game five causes the world’s largest simultaneous female orgasm. And, uh, maybe male also.
Chicago-Calgary: Calgary’s odds to hit the five are the same as Vancouver’s to hit three. Chicago beat Calgary all four games this year, by some lopsided scores. There’s not a tonne of recent history here, but the playoffs have a way of breeding contempt. These buildings will be loud, which won’t hurt.
Uneducated Predictions: Chicago wins an intense series in 6. Dion Phaneuf is caught out of position 61 times, but makes up for it by elbowing Jonathan Toews in the eye.
Conference Semifinals
San Jose-St. Louis: The home team won every game this year, in close fashion. There’s not much recent history here, but I’m sure no St. Louis fan has forgotten the spring of 2000.
Uneducated Predictions: The Blues are shockingly featured on mainstream American sports networks after they complete their second seven-game upset in as many series. The cries of “Jumbo Joe can’t get'r done in the playoffs” reach unhealthy levels despite his having 10 points in the seven games.
Vancouver-Chicago: This one would probably be boring. The season series is split, although Vancouver won the two most recent games 11-3 total. Still, this sounds like a six-gamer at least.
Uneducated Predictions: Chicago in seven. Teams set a record by having 17 combined players in the box simultaneously, necessitating horizontal stacking.
Conference Finals
Chicago-St. Louis: These teams met a bunch of times in the playoffs in the 80’s and early 90’s. The Blues won four of the six games this year, with the first three games going to OT.
Uneducated Predictions: St. Louis’ exciting run comes to an end in seven games. Traditionalists weep with joy at the old-fashioned Norris Division tilt.
Stanley Cup Finals
My uneducated predictions for the Conference Finals (Bruins over Capitals, Chicago over St. Louis) were more along the lines of which team would likely be favoured. I can't decide at all which of the four possibilities would actually be most entertaining. More Ovie=More Betterness, and I'd be happy to watch the Blues continue to roll. That said, I think an Original Six Chicago-Boston showdown might offer the best hockey. It would certainly be a match-up that was borderline unimaginable two years ago. I don't know who would win, but I'm sure we'd be inundated with breathless articles about the salvation of two classic franchises. And it would probably be worth it.
Assuming, again, that long, bloody series are the cat’s pajamas.
Conference Quarterfinals
San Jose-Anaheim: Anaheim’s currently got a 29% or 25% chance of falling to the eight, depending on whom you ask. This has the requisite bad blood. San Jose won four of six games during the regular season.
Uneducated Predictions: The first-ever postseason Battle of California has potential to go the full seven, with the Sharks prevailing. The on-the-ice, in-the-outskirts version of Giants-Dodgers registers a rare hockey blip on the mainstream Cali sporting conscious.
Detroit-St. Louis: The Blues are about 30% to hit the seven, but it could be a classic. The intradivisional aspect doesn’t hurt, although Detroit did win 5 of 6 this year. For what it’s worth (probably not much), St Louis did win the most recent match-up.
Uneducated Predictions: A bunch of 5-4 games ends with the playoffs’ big upset, as the Blues become the adopted team for eliminated teams’ fans everywhere. Chris Osgood is finally pulled in game six after stealing the puck during a Red Wings breakout and throwing it into his own net.
Vancouver-Columbus: As a Canucks fan, I’m sure I’m fucking this up by calling it before it’s set. But, the Canucks are 84% or 75% to get the three, while Columbus is 69/66 to get the 6. Columbus won both home games 3-2 (plus an empty-netter), while the teams split two more close games in Vancouver (with Columbus’ win in the shootout). Ohio fans’ first taste of playoff hockey should be entertaining as hell.
Uneducated Predictions: Another seven-gamer ends with a Canucks win, but convinces Rick Nash to stay in Ohio long-term. A Ryan Kesler OT game-winner in game five causes the world’s largest simultaneous female orgasm. And, uh, maybe male also.
Chicago-Calgary: Calgary’s odds to hit the five are the same as Vancouver’s to hit three. Chicago beat Calgary all four games this year, by some lopsided scores. There’s not a tonne of recent history here, but the playoffs have a way of breeding contempt. These buildings will be loud, which won’t hurt.
Uneducated Predictions: Chicago wins an intense series in 6. Dion Phaneuf is caught out of position 61 times, but makes up for it by elbowing Jonathan Toews in the eye.
Conference Semifinals
San Jose-St. Louis: The home team won every game this year, in close fashion. There’s not much recent history here, but I’m sure no St. Louis fan has forgotten the spring of 2000.
Uneducated Predictions: The Blues are shockingly featured on mainstream American sports networks after they complete their second seven-game upset in as many series. The cries of “Jumbo Joe can’t get'r done in the playoffs” reach unhealthy levels despite his having 10 points in the seven games.
Vancouver-Chicago: This one would probably be boring. The season series is split, although Vancouver won the two most recent games 11-3 total. Still, this sounds like a six-gamer at least.
Uneducated Predictions: Chicago in seven. Teams set a record by having 17 combined players in the box simultaneously, necessitating horizontal stacking.
Conference Finals
Chicago-St. Louis: These teams met a bunch of times in the playoffs in the 80’s and early 90’s. The Blues won four of the six games this year, with the first three games going to OT.
Uneducated Predictions: St. Louis’ exciting run comes to an end in seven games. Traditionalists weep with joy at the old-fashioned Norris Division tilt.
Stanley Cup Finals
My uneducated predictions for the Conference Finals (Bruins over Capitals, Chicago over St. Louis) were more along the lines of which team would likely be favoured. I can't decide at all which of the four possibilities would actually be most entertaining. More Ovie=More Betterness, and I'd be happy to watch the Blues continue to roll. That said, I think an Original Six Chicago-Boston showdown might offer the best hockey. It would certainly be a match-up that was borderline unimaginable two years ago. I don't know who would win, but I'm sure we'd be inundated with breathless articles about the salvation of two classic franchises. And it would probably be worth it.
A Fan Can Hope: Eastern Conference
Update--The pairings are set, and, hey, whaddya know!
The NHL’s playoff membership is set. With most teams having a single game left, there are a few seeding questions to be resolved, but we know largely what the field will look like. Spring hockey is always fun. Theoretically, though, there’s one combination of winners that would make for a more entertaining two months than any other. How should a neutral fan hope to see the playoffs play out? Assuming seven-game series between mutually hostile teams are the gold standard, let’s start in the Eastern Conference.
Conference Quarterfinals
Boston-Montreal: Fairly self-explanatory. Currently, Sports Club Stats has the Canadiens at 63% to get the eight-seed, while Playoff Status has them at 72%. Boston has won five of the six games this year. Three, including Montreal’s lone win (at home) went to OT.
Uneducated predictions: Montreal wins a few because that’s how they do, but Boston wins 4-2. In game two, an angry Milan Lucic kills five people, sprouts wings, bursts through the roof of the TD Banknorth Garden and returns to his roost on a craggy cliff-face in the Coast Mountains 150 miles northwest of Vancouver.
Washington-NYR: Not much choice here (Montreal’s odds to get the eight are NY’s to get the seven), but luckily it wouldn’t be a half-bad series. The Rangers are a decent 11-7-2 since Tortorella took over, including a very good 8-2-0 at home. During the season series, Washington won both home games 2-1 in regulation (plus an empty-netter), and the teams split OT decisions at MSG. The hype of Ovie on Broadway will be insane, but the games themselves should be decent.
Uneducated predictions: New York steals a few at home, but Washington wins 4-2. NHL marketing guys cream their jeans.
NJD-Carolina: Carolina’s only got a 31% or 25% chance to hit the six, so this isn’t terribly likely to happen. Carolina’s won all three match-ups this year. Carolina knocked the Devils off during both their cup runs earlier this decade.
Uneducated predictions: Brodeur and Ward stage a nice goaltender's battle as Carolina wins in the seventh game of an entertaining series. 23 people tune in to watch.
Philly-Pittsburgh: Again, largely self-explanatory. This has the same chance of happening as Carolina getting the six. In the regular season, the Penguins went 4-2-0, with two of the wins in OT at home. After a bit of an ugly start, Philly’s been consistently good all year; they’ve lost consecutive home games only twice since Nov. 8, by my count. Pittsburgh’s been on a rocket ride up since mid-February.
Uneducated predictions: Pittsburgh wins somehow. The total energy expended by Flyers fans shrieking “Cindy Crosby” alters Earth’s rotation perceptibly.
Conference Semifinals
Boston-Carolina: Well, Boston won all four games this year, by a combined score of 18-6. That said, Carolina’s gone 17-4-2 since these teams last played.
Uneducated predictions: Carolina takes two off the Bruins in a hard-fought series. Confused Raleigh-area bandwagon fans believe Zdeno Chara to be an eastern European basketball recruit taking an official visit to UNC.
Washington-Pittsburgh: The season tally is Caps 3, Pens 1, Passive-Aggressive Statements 45. Again, the hype would be obnoxious, but this really would be fun.
Uneducated predictions: Washington wins in 7. With the spotlight trained firmly elsewhere, Malkin continues with Project Arcturus unmolested.
Conference Finals
Boston-Washington: Not a lot to say here; just a couple supremely talented teams bashing each other around for two weeks. Washington took three of four during the regular season.
Uneducated predictions: If a Washington goalie gets hot, the Caps could definitely win. That said, Bruins in 7. President Obama forced by adviser to mention the Capitals during some function.
The NHL’s playoff membership is set. With most teams having a single game left, there are a few seeding questions to be resolved, but we know largely what the field will look like. Spring hockey is always fun. Theoretically, though, there’s one combination of winners that would make for a more entertaining two months than any other. How should a neutral fan hope to see the playoffs play out? Assuming seven-game series between mutually hostile teams are the gold standard, let’s start in the Eastern Conference.
Conference Quarterfinals
Boston-Montreal: Fairly self-explanatory. Currently, Sports Club Stats has the Canadiens at 63% to get the eight-seed, while Playoff Status has them at 72%. Boston has won five of the six games this year. Three, including Montreal’s lone win (at home) went to OT.
Uneducated predictions: Montreal wins a few because that’s how they do, but Boston wins 4-2. In game two, an angry Milan Lucic kills five people, sprouts wings, bursts through the roof of the TD Banknorth Garden and returns to his roost on a craggy cliff-face in the Coast Mountains 150 miles northwest of Vancouver.
Washington-NYR: Not much choice here (Montreal’s odds to get the eight are NY’s to get the seven), but luckily it wouldn’t be a half-bad series. The Rangers are a decent 11-7-2 since Tortorella took over, including a very good 8-2-0 at home. During the season series, Washington won both home games 2-1 in regulation (plus an empty-netter), and the teams split OT decisions at MSG. The hype of Ovie on Broadway will be insane, but the games themselves should be decent.
Uneducated predictions: New York steals a few at home, but Washington wins 4-2. NHL marketing guys cream their jeans.
NJD-Carolina: Carolina’s only got a 31% or 25% chance to hit the six, so this isn’t terribly likely to happen. Carolina’s won all three match-ups this year. Carolina knocked the Devils off during both their cup runs earlier this decade.
Uneducated predictions: Brodeur and Ward stage a nice goaltender's battle as Carolina wins in the seventh game of an entertaining series. 23 people tune in to watch.
Philly-Pittsburgh: Again, largely self-explanatory. This has the same chance of happening as Carolina getting the six. In the regular season, the Penguins went 4-2-0, with two of the wins in OT at home. After a bit of an ugly start, Philly’s been consistently good all year; they’ve lost consecutive home games only twice since Nov. 8, by my count. Pittsburgh’s been on a rocket ride up since mid-February.
Uneducated predictions: Pittsburgh wins somehow. The total energy expended by Flyers fans shrieking “Cindy Crosby” alters Earth’s rotation perceptibly.
Conference Semifinals
Boston-Carolina: Well, Boston won all four games this year, by a combined score of 18-6. That said, Carolina’s gone 17-4-2 since these teams last played.
Uneducated predictions: Carolina takes two off the Bruins in a hard-fought series. Confused Raleigh-area bandwagon fans believe Zdeno Chara to be an eastern European basketball recruit taking an official visit to UNC.
Washington-Pittsburgh: The season tally is Caps 3, Pens 1, Passive-Aggressive Statements 45. Again, the hype would be obnoxious, but this really would be fun.
Uneducated predictions: Washington wins in 7. With the spotlight trained firmly elsewhere, Malkin continues with Project Arcturus unmolested.
Conference Finals
Boston-Washington: Not a lot to say here; just a couple supremely talented teams bashing each other around for two weeks. Washington took three of four during the regular season.
Uneducated predictions: If a Washington goalie gets hot, the Caps could definitely win. That said, Bruins in 7. President Obama forced by adviser to mention the Capitals during some function.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Chicago Commodores
Current players on the Chicago Bears roster, by alma mater:
Vanderbilt: 4
The other 11 SEC schools: 6
That barely seems possible. But I guess when this has been one of your team's most recognizable faces for a few years, you take all the brains you can get.
Vanderbilt: 4
The other 11 SEC schools: 6
That barely seems possible. But I guess when this has been one of your team's most recognizable faces for a few years, you take all the brains you can get.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wrasslin', but with ice!
Here in Canada, hockey fighting** has been in the news (or on the opinion pages, at least) almost continually since the January death of an amateur player in Ontario. It was an interesting debate, but, like any other headline-worthy topic, it's been beaten to death^^ by the media. So without rehashing too much, one fundamental objection to fighting is on the grounds of player safety. Especially distressing is the possibility of more slip-fall-bang head-kaput incidents. Which brings me to last night's Canucks-Blackhawks brawl:
Almost all the discussion surrounding the fight has been about Canuck Alex Burrows grabbing hold of Duncan Keith's hair (visible starting around 1:20), most of which discourse reaches an approximate conclusion of "Alex Burrows has a fully-functioning uterus". Mostly unmentioned has been the move*** Blackhawk Ben Eager^^^ performs on Kevin Bieksa (around 1:10). I could find nothing in the online NHL rulebook prohibiting, um, bodyslams (or any other specific action, hair-pulling included). This strikes me as...negligent, somehow, as that little manoeuver seems, in two words, insanely dangerous. Hell, Eager almost hits his own helmetless head on the ice. As questionable as Alex Burrows' FINISHING MOVE was, the potential consequences of being dropped back-first onto the ice are orders of magnitude more serious than those of having a scrawny Frenchman pull one's hair.
**For lack of a more eloquent term.
^^Then hacked to bits, then blasted into the sun. They really did a number on it.
***Whose name I'm unaware of, but surely includes the prefix "Power-".
^^^Total 'ckhawk-sucker.
Almost all the discussion surrounding the fight has been about Canuck Alex Burrows grabbing hold of Duncan Keith's hair (visible starting around 1:20), most of which discourse reaches an approximate conclusion of "Alex Burrows has a fully-functioning uterus". Mostly unmentioned has been the move*** Blackhawk Ben Eager^^^ performs on Kevin Bieksa (around 1:10). I could find nothing in the online NHL rulebook prohibiting, um, bodyslams (or any other specific action, hair-pulling included). This strikes me as...negligent, somehow, as that little manoeuver seems, in two words, insanely dangerous. Hell, Eager almost hits his own helmetless head on the ice. As questionable as Alex Burrows' FINISHING MOVE was, the potential consequences of being dropped back-first onto the ice are orders of magnitude more serious than those of having a scrawny Frenchman pull one's hair.
**For lack of a more eloquent term.
^^Then hacked to bits, then blasted into the sun. They really did a number on it.
***Whose name I'm unaware of, but surely includes the prefix "Power-".
^^^Total 'ckhawk-sucker.
Amateur Hour
Hi, welcome to Opinionatard. I go by Passive Voice, and I'll be spewing opinions. They'll be about sports, mostly, (because that's not a crowded market), but if I think up something really profound** to say on another topic, I'll splatter it up on here. I was a contributor for awhile at another .blogspot operation, one which dealt with bad sportswriting. I figure this newer endeavour will either be just retribution for my acting like a critical ass, or will justify my criticizing professionals. The latter's a heavy dog.
A few quick explanatory things:
-I love the Vancouver Canucks and Boston Red Sox, and I'm partial to any college football team that puts up points in creative ways.
-I'm from British Columbia, hence things like "endeavour".
-I envision this thing as mostly a receptacle for ideas, with limited commentary about news. We'll see.
-I attempt to write decently well, but I expect I'll hit a sweet spot where most people think "unnecessary language, jerk" and English majors think "trying to hard, jerk".
**Ha!
A few quick explanatory things:
-I love the Vancouver Canucks and Boston Red Sox, and I'm partial to any college football team that puts up points in creative ways.
-I'm from British Columbia, hence things like "endeavour".
-I envision this thing as mostly a receptacle for ideas, with limited commentary about news. We'll see.
-I attempt to write decently well, but I expect I'll hit a sweet spot where most people think "unnecessary language, jerk" and English majors think "trying to hard, jerk".
**Ha!
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